'The offhand and sanitised way that we deal with defecations has become a model for how we deal with the rest of the shit in our lives.' CM
'Barking mad Madge has been touting her bilge flick about Wallis Simpson about- another serial relationship killer whose bond of bondage with our former bi-sexual or asexual King threatened the British Establishment. [Shock horror] The critics have justly utterly panned it for the rubbish it undoubtedly is- it goes with her other nonos the children's books. Her only remaining talent is for looking good at 50 if you like that sort of thing. On TV she had the effin cheak to say that directing the film was the hardest work she had ever done. Our hearts bleed for the old slapper. Sack the twat who gives her any more airtime!' CM
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