DEATH BY CROCODILES AND CHOLERA

Detail of Painting by Magritte

'The keeper of the sacred crocodiles in The Ivory Coast- a man who outlived the late president, himself a former minister in the French government, has died: he was eaten by the crocodiles who inhabit the sacred lake which guard the late President's resting place.
The feeding of these crocodiles had become a notorious public and tourist spectacle where live chickens were regularly thrown to these ancient reptiles- purported in the legends of the C'Ote D'Ivoire to have prophetic powers and the ability to communicate with the late President D'Ivoire.
This subject with its many contradictions- the magical and superstitious in juxtaposition with an emerging and modernizing African state, was the the subject of a compelling short story by the Nobel Prize winning V.S. Naipaul.
The country boasts a state of the art Presidential Palace and an extraordinary church- one of the wonders of modern Africa. It's President was by any measure a cultivated and accomplished intellectual. BUT the superstitious survives there with enormous strength and heed must be paid to it.
The fact that the man who had devoted all of his life to keeping these crocodiles- all of whom had names and came to his call, became himself a recent centerpiece of this ugly spectacle strike me not so much as remarkable but as inevitable and to some degree suitably ironic. The danger was always there in the mix of nonsense of reason- to ignore that, to live in flagrant ignorance of the fact, to extract vicarious pleasure from such acts strikes me as sheer folly. The end result does not surprise me. I only hope this man's death will bring an end to this particular tourist attraction.

Tourists will not be travelling to Sierra Leone where this year there have been a vastly greater number of people falling victim to Cholera in  Freetown mostly- 16,000 and counting. The name of the capital town is indeed a misnomer- there is no free supply of fresh water, water free from disease. There is no recognizable sanitation- by any western measure, anywhere. The people shit and piss into plastic bags which they dump into the rivers and the sea. These packages return to the long white sand beaches that have graced some holiday brochures. The country is in crisis and is asking for £11 million pounds in immediate aid to stem the spread of the disease.
Unkindly, granted, I have to ask if there are any vast Presidential Palaces there, My unkindness extends to asking if they prioritise superstition still there. My rationality suggests that they go begging to rich countries within their own continent for help. It has become an ugly habit for African countries to play the slave card and the colonies card and thrust begging bowls in the face of western democracies who generally do not feed live animals to crocodiles for fun, who do not criminalize people for their sexual persuasion and who tend to be far more circumspect with their political and religious corruption.
It is well overdue for the west to take stock and stop this charade of aid to countries who will not prioritize their own wealth to properly aid themselves.' CM

'Diet day 5- no feelings of feeling svelt as yet. Bugger. At diet day 7 the cruel exercise regime kicks in. I am undeserving of such torture- the words clinically obese are vile vile vile. My breakfast is black coffee thus far. There is more to come- two carrot sticks and a spring onion. Size zero and Victoria Beckham are a wicked blight on all mankind. LOL. Although my spies tell me that size zero in the USA is in fact size 10 as far as designer Karen Millen is concerned. Not that I cross-dress. LOL.' CM

'THE INEVITABLE FLABTASTIC BLUBBER BAND is composed of four lardy rugby players from the Carmarthen Rugby Club, a very large lady American black vocalist and a toffish cousin of the Queen of England on keyboards. They have a dwarf drummer from Essex.
Their first very album 'Crasso Profundo' tops all the charts in America- it has a very fat vibe that makes you weep.
Hysteria is sweeping the States as their tour reaches Miami.
There you go Mike Knowles- the seeds are sown for the movie "THE BANNED BAND VENTURE: UNSEEN FOOTAGE" ' CM